KR-58: Dialogue and Descriptions
Sweetie Bot
Chapter One
A small, young, white, unicorn filly (a child-aged female equine, horse or pony) galloped atop the dirt path that lead to the Everfree Forest. In her frantic haste, she nearly missed the young earth pony (show’s name for pony without wings or magical horn) playing on an arcade machine in the middle of the path.
It’s a good thing she -- the small young, white, unicorn, filly -- noticed the bulky arcade machine because it blocked her path, and she would have crashed into it had she failed to stop in time.
She took a deep breath and walked to the preoccupied colt (a child-aged male equine, horse, or pony) with a dark brown coat (layer of fur covering skin), dark orange eyes,a short dark-orange and grayish-brownish-orange streaked mane (equine hair covering top of neck and head) and his defining feature, a multicolored propeller hat, featuring a especially large lime green propellor.
She made sure to keep her voice firm but polite as she spoke to the colt.
“Excuse me, Button Mash, but I believe your arcade machine is blocking a public walkway. Could you please move it off the road?”
“Uh huh,” came the mumbled reply. Button Mash didn’t even look at the pony speaking to him. He likely didn’t even know what was said to him. He really needed to work on his manners.
Well, then. Thought the now slightly irritated unicorn filly. Maybe, I need to be more specific.
“I apologize for bothering you again, Button Mash, but could you move your arcade machine, now?”, said the unapologetic unicorn.
I hope that wasn’t too harsh. Did I raise my tone at the end? Thought the very same unicorn.
Luckily, Button Mash didn’t seem upset. Instead, he looked up from his game for the first time in the entire conversation.
“Oh, Sweetie Belle, It’s you!”, said Button Mash, eyes alighting with excitement.
“Yes, it’s me. Now, could you please move your arcade machine to a more appropriate location?”, said Sweetie Belle, who was sternly resolved to keep this delay to a minimum.
“What? Oh, yeah. Sure thing. I haven’t seen you in ages,” said Button Mash, who didn’t quite catch that Sweetie Belle didn’t have time to chat.
“Yeah, that’s great. Um, I’m actually in a hurry, so could we make haste and catch up later?”, said Sweetie Belle, who had given up on subtle cues and body language to communicate to this chatty colt.
That time, I was definitely to direct. I hope he doesn’t cry. I’d certainly be in trouble if he makes a scene. Thought Sweetie Belle, as she imagined the reprimand she’d receive from Rarity, her older sister.
“Of course, and, if you don’t mind me asking, where are you off to in such a hurry?”, said the shockingly polite Button Mash.
Did he just say ‘if you don’t mind me asking’? He has certainly changed since we were foals (baby equines). Thought Sweetie Belle, who was shocked by Button Mash’s maturity.
“Oh, I’m just heading to Zecora’s residence in the Everfree Forest,” said Sweetie Belle, barely thinking before she spoke.
“Oh, I’ve never been to… wait, did you say the Everfree Forest?”, said Button Mash, as his face revealed his horror before he quickly masked it with a smile.
“Yes, that is where Zecora lives.”, said Sweetie Belle, as she processed the meaning of Button’s facial expressions.
“Um, if you don’t mind me asking, why would you want to go there?”, said Button Mash, a little more timid than he was a few seconds ago.
Is he scared of the Everfree Forest? I can’t blame him. I’m terrified of it.Thought Sweetie Belle, who shares Button’s fear.
“Well, I’m going to meet up with the rest of the Cutie Mark Crusaders, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo. Zecora is going to show us some strange tracks she found near her house,” said Sweetie Belle, who dreaded her journey through the forest.
“I’m glad to see you three have stayed in touch.” said Button Mash, looking like he wanted to say more.
“If you want to, you may come along with me,” said Sweetie Belle, who, for many reasons, found Button Mash joining her on the short walk through the Everfree Forest to Zecora’s house increasingly desirable.
“I wouldn’t want to barge in on a Cutie Mark Crusaders’ meeting,” said Button Mash, as an excuse to avoid entering the Everfree forest.
“Oh, it’s not just for Cutie Mark Crusaders, Zecora will be there, and she invited us because we’re her friends, not because it’s an exclusive CMC meetin,.” said Sweetie Belle, who doubted that she could brave the Everfree Forest alone.
“Oh, um. It seems like a fillies-only activity. I’m not sure if my mom would appreciate me spending time alone with a bunch of fillies far away from home in the isolated Everfree Forest,” said Button Mash, really grasping at straws -- which is really difficult to do with hooves -- for any excuse to stay clear of the Everfree Forest.
“Please, Button Mash. Come with me. I haven’t seen you in so long, and I would like to get to know you better,” said Sweetie Belle, who had absolutely no interest in getting to know Button Mash and merely wanted company as she wandered the rarely travelled pathways of the Everfree Forest.
I really wish I hadn’t let Apple Bloom and Scootaloo leave for the forest without me. I can’t go there alone. Now, I’ll have to explain brining a colt to a fillies-only CMC exclusive meeting. Thought Sweetie Belle, who felt no shame for lying to Button Mash about the nature of CMC meeting.
“I guess I could join you and your friends at Zecora’s house, but first I need to move this arcade machine off the road,” said Button Mash, as he reluctantly agreed to enter the one place he feared more than all, the Everfree Forest.
(8-25-19) Josh end. Should I continue this format for dialogue? Should I have descriptions next to each phrase? Should I have a name next to each phrase? Should the name come before or after each phrase?
Chapter Two
Two young ponies, a unicorn filly (Sweetie Belle) and a earth pony colt (Button Mash), stopped in front of a metaphorical wall of trees known as the Everfree Forest.
Button Mash’s nervous laughter broke their daze of dread. “Haha,” said Button Mash, “Ladies first.”
Ugh, thought Sweetie Belle, if he’s behind me, how will I know if he runs off?
“Fine,” said Sweetie Belle, and they trotted into the Everfree Forest.
Sweetie Belle’s worries that Button Mash might run off without her noticing were resolved by the swishing of leaves and branches that both of them had to walk through. There was no way Button Mash could leave without Sweetie Belle hearing him pushing bushes out of the way. Despite Sweetie Belle’s suspicions, Button Mash had no intention of leaving. He’d rather have stay this unfamiliar forest with Sweetie Belle than brave the darkness of the forest alone in a sorry attempt to find his way out alone.
Sweetie Belle and Button Mash stayed silent while they walked through the forest. They listened to every snap of the twig and rustle of the leaves. They feared that some monster might jump out at them at any second. Every shadowy silhouette of a bunny or swaying branch of the tree seemed a predator out to get them. It was so hard to see clearly in this forest. The canopy was so thick that it seemed like an opaque ceiling. Every once in a while, there would be a small clearing where a few dim pillars of light shot out of the darkness.
Sweetie Belle knew how to get from Zecora’s house, but it seemed to be taking longer than usual. She realized how slow she was walking and decided to pick up the pace. The loud crack of breaking branches caused her to freeze. The origin of the sound was out of sight, beyond the brush, but oh so nearby.
Button Mash started to whimper, but Sweetie Belle had no patience for his cowardice. If he breaks out crying, every pony-eating monster in the whole forest will know where we are, thought Sweetie Belle. “It’s probably just another bunny,” said Sweetie Belle. Button Mash nodded, but looked unconvinced. Sweetie Belle didn’t think it was a bunny either, but she wasn’t about to let Mr. Propellor Hat, here, know that.
Another unseen branch cracked in the darkness, and some bushes, multiple ponies-tall, rustled as something moved through them. The sound of multiple twigs snapping in quick succession, each snap closer to them than before, woke them from their thoughts of monsters. Sweetie Belle and Button Mash broke out into a full-on sprint. Ignoring the branches and shrubs that block their path, only changing their course to avoid hitting trees, they continue running until the snapping of twigs, cracking of branches, and rustling of bushes is far behind them.
Button Mash began coughing and wheezing. “Really?” hissed Sweetie Belle, “you’re already out of breath?”
“It’s not that… It’s the air.” said Button Mash with great difficulty as he gasped for breath and coughed it out like he spitting out something sour or bitter.
“The air?” said Sweetie Belle. She looked up to see what in the air Button Mash was talking about. But, all he could see in the air was trees, a thick canopy of leaves, and a few open spots where the light of day streamed down into the forest. Her eyes followed a pillar of light from the canopy to the forest floor. She stared at the floor for a while, trying to discern the cause of Button Mash’s coughing fit.
In the dim beam of light, Sweetie Belle saw a faint green glow of some sort of cloud. But, it’s on the ground, so it’s really a mist or fog. The glow grew brighter, and Sweetie Belle heard the sound of whatever they had previously escaped, getting closer. Then, a fresh puff of green-glowing mist blew out of bush next to the lightbeam she was looking at. She walked up to the puff of green fog, then into the bush it came from. It was an odd-looking bush, not many leaves. Mostly branches that grow in strange patterns. The bush glowed a consistent green. Then, it jumped. With a start, Sweetie Belle realized she was face-to-face with a timber wolf.