Dream: Losing sanity in a spaceship

June 8th, 2024

In the spaceship in the dream, the few people I found were losing their sanity. Crushed by loss and anxiety. Struck by paranoia, they're suspicious of me. I've got everything together. I'm not bothered at all. I'm not lost or searching for someone else. I'm not curled up in a ball or knelt in grief against the wall. I'm wandering aimlessly, exploring the ship. Watching the stars in awe and how the planet spins.

The whole place is so empty where it was once so full. Where I was overwhelmed by the crowds, I'm now alone. Lost in the twisting turns of an expansive ship that once seemed so small and simple.

Where was I before? How did I get to the ship? I was at a restraunt. Was I getting ice cream? I'm not sure, but there was an odd situation in which I was ordering food while at a hotel than later I was at a food truck at a gas station, then later under a bridge on the rocks by a river. Wait, this is starting to seem a little odd. I was never hungry in the dream. I remember before ate anything I was a little disgusted with how much everyone with me was eating.

Regardless, in the spaceship, I found about three people grouped together. I was determined I wouldn't lose track of them. What a pitiless attempt. One of them was one of the crew. This crew member just stood there by the wall, staring. They stared forward, unmoving like a statue. We couldn't see their eyes or face because of the visor and mask, but we knew they were aware of us because when we moved near it, it sometimes moved it head face us. However, it didn't speak or respond to our questions in anyway.

There were two other people with us. A man and a woman. They didn't know eachother and we're rather displeased with how they couldn't find their families and friends that they had arrived here with.

After much discussion about what we should do. We agreed that we needed to stick together but whether to stay out or search the ship was a point of contention.

"That crew member won't follow us, and the more people we have with us, the better. So we should stick with the crew." - this was something along the lines of the woman's opinion. She voted we should stay here.

The man strongly disagreed. "We should move so we can find others, and we want to be as far away from these crew members as we can. They're responsible for bringing us here. They should be considered our enemy and a threat."

I however voted that we should stay since I feared that we would get separated from eachother if we moved. The man got very angry. He shouted. This drew the attention of the crew member who didn't move but to turn its head in his direction. The man redirected his anger towards the crew member and shouted at it and gesturing and pointing. The crew member seemed unfazed.

The man shook his head and walked away the opposite direction of the crew member to cool off. He took care not to leave our line of sight lest we get separated. The short wall in the alive only slightly obscured our view of him, but it was enough to miss a crucial detail. In that area something happened or maybe he did something. A few minutes later, I walked over to check on him and found him looking different than he had before. The young man was nowhere to be found, but a balding old man with ragged and ripped clothes wielding a metal walking stick that has buttons and blinking lights and a handle with a miniature lever. I don't quite understand the device, but he held it threateningly. Whether it's a weapon or not, I imagine it would hurt if he hit me with it. I backed away. He told me how in his hoarse voice nearly whispered how he destroyed the oxygen on the ship and was the only one left alive on the ship, surviving off the med-kits hidden in the alcoves. But then he gnashes on teeth in anger and spat as he described how more people would continue to arrive. Sure, they would die of suffocation rather quickly, but it meant that whoever was kidnapping people and bringing them to the ship had not died to the lack of oxygen. That had been his goal. He was hoping to kill the kidnappers even if it meant killing their victims as well.

I left him alone. He was clearly insane. I head back to the crew member and the wo-"Where is the woman?" The crew member points down the hall to the right. I follow its directions without thinking. How foolish, I leave their line of sight. I slide in to a thin alcove then jump to reach the edge of a tall 7-8 ft wall. Then I climb up and over to the other side. Here it is. I have the impression that the woman is here. Or at the very least, she was. But there is no one here. Only a med-kit.

It's odd. I remember finding the woman there. But I remember finding her alive. I also remember finding wretched ghoulish old hag instead of the woman. I also remember finding the woman's corpse instead of her. All the while, I remember quite clearly that the only thing past the wall was a mess-kit.

So I climb the wall again and return to the crew member. The manic balding old man is in battle with the crew member. His metal stick is definitely a weapon of sort. Those sorts of pyrotechnics are meant for dealing damage. But at the same time, the crew member is a trained combatant. The crew member strikes the man in the shoulder, then kicks at his legs while he's off balance. Then tries to rip the stick from his hand while he is down. But he won't give up the weapon no matter what. I want to intervene, but I don't know what to do.

"Help me!" The old man shouts to me "We can take it down if we work together!"

I don't necessarily trust the crew, but this guy is off his rocker. If I subdue a crew member, he would kill them while they're down. But I don't know the disposition of the crew. Would they kill the old man if I were to disarm him?

I settle for a neutral option. I reach for a metallic cylinder by a window that looks like a curtain rod (and that may very well be what it was). I hold it front of me threateningly. "Get away from eachother or I'll strike you both down."

The crew member's reaction is hard to judge since I can't see their face. But they lowered their own staff-like weapon when I spoke and the old man was sure that I'd beat up the crew so he backed away eagerly so I could attack.

I did not attack. "Listen, fighting isn't gonna help anyone." I say to the old man. Then I turn to face the crew member. "I'd appreciate if you would speak with us. If you can tell us anything, we'll all be better equipped to help and trust each other."

The crew member nods. And finally I hear it's voice. It clears its throat to speak. The old man's stick slams into the crew member's head. It's helmet spins until it's facing backwards. The body falls to the ground.

In reaction, mostly out of anger despite what I would tell myself, I slam the curtain rod on the head of the old man. He crumpled to the ground (hopefully only knocked out).

The crew member lies on its back, it reaches for its head. It's alive! It's hands grip its helmet, trying to twist it back into place. It's no use. I offer to help but gestures for me to refrain from attempting aid. As it twists the helmet back and forth, something pops and it rolls off. The crew member grabs the helmet and tries to put it back on but the visor is shattered and the mask is only barely attached, dangling like a pendulum.

The crew member groans in annoyance and drops the helmet. She is a woman, younger than the one that used to be here with us. As far as I can tell, she is human like me.

I ask her about what's happening. She seems reluctant to speak but after a long sigh begins to describe the situation. It's a terribly long exposition to give context for what is otherwise an absurd course of action. She speaks English with no discernible accent, much like the rest of the crew members that have sometimes spoken.

Her words are rather poetic and seems rather symbolic as she uses figurative language with comparisons and metaphors describe things that I can't imagine. But I'm having a hard time parsing what she is trying saying. Is she talking about demons? Or monsters? Is there a threat they are protecting against? I can't grasp what she's talking about.

My mind begins to fade as she describes such strange realities. I imagine the many-headed creatures and those with many limbs are of no real comprehensible significance.

What she says makes no sense but at the same time seems all too familiar. Where have I seen these creatures before? When have I lived such realities? Why am I unfazed by being spirited away in such a manner when everyone else became unstable when faced with such struggles?

Then I woke up. Then I knew the answer. I've seen these things in my other dreams, which I did not remember while I was asleep.